This is why Ninjas don't have Internet
by insomniasucks
Summary: Everyone just really hates each other. Crack.
1. NaruIno relations

**Disclaimer I don't own Naruto or Facebook.**  
**Oh and the picture is of Ino and Naruto making out.**

**CRACK.**

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Naruto Uzumaki went from being _single_ to_ in a relationship_with Ino babyqirll' Yamanaka.

Ino babyqirll' Yamanaka uploaded a new profile picture. " omq babee' ily soo fuqin' mucho.! Were qonna last foreverrrr! #RealTalk! 8.3O.I2 ! (;"

87 people like this

Ami suckmadick Takahiki commented "leik omq ino! babee' youuh luuk amazinnnq! youhh betta take hella care of my girl naruto!"

Kaori beezinthatrap Murashiko commented "Aw u guyz r 2 qute, ur finna last 4 lyff!"

Sanji luvzubaby Koro commented "Ino! too cute babygirl!"

Ino babyqirll' Yamanaka commented "Thxx qirlss c;"

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Naruto Uzumaki uploaded a new profile picture

Ino babyqirll' Yamanaka likes this

Ino babyqirll' Yamanaka commented "omqq babeeeeeeee! youuhhh put tha pik as ur profile pic t2! luv uuuu ;)"

Sasori Akasuna commented "Dude, is that Deidara?"

Deidara IsNotAGirl commented "FUCK YOU!"

Kiba Inuzuka commented "Alright! Gettin it innnnn!"

Naruto Uzumaki commented "helllll yaaaa!"

Menma Namikaze commented "How do I taste Naruto? (;"

Naruto Uzumaki commented "fuck u faggot! she did not blow you!"

Menma Namikaze commented "mm I don't know, when was this picture taken?"

Naruto Uzumaki commented "a few hours ago y?"

Menma Namikaze commented "ahaha yup! she's still wearing the same clothes!"

Sasuke Uchiha commented "Damn dobe, you left tits of ages hyuuga for her? Downgrade man.."

Sakura Haruno liked Sasuke Uchiha's comment

Sakura Haruno commented "Ha! Ya hear that Ino? Sasuke called you a whore."

Ino babyqirll' Yamanaka commented "omq stfuu foreheadd! at least sasuke calls me!"

Hinata Hyuuga commented "Thank you Sasuke."

Sasuke Uchiha commented "Anytime, and this is kinda going against guy code but, are you free tonight?"

Neji Hyuuga commented "No."

Sasuke Uchiha commented "Cockblock"

Suigetsu Hozuki commented "Ino's too easy"

Hidan BeGettinThaBitchez commented "that bitch is loose as fuck"

Gaara Sabaku commented "Damn Naruto, you got that professor Orochimaru tongue all up in her."

Inoichi Yamanaka commented "Ino! What is the meaning of this?!"

Minato Namikaze commented "Naruto! Delete this, you're grounded!"

Naruto Uzumaki went from being _in a relationship_ to _single_

Ino babyqirll' Yamanaka went from being_ in a relationship_ with Naruto Uzumaki to _in a relationship_with Menma Namikaze

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**I swear if happens every time, new couple breaks up with previous lover to be together. posts a picture. gets yelled at by friends. until a parent comes and reprimands them. and then everyone just ends up hating each other.  
and i will definitely be updating TDP soon I promise!**

**Review please! :D**


	2. Sasuke's Profile Picture

**Disclaimer I don't own Naruto or Facebook.**  
**Crack fic just because, ^~^**  
**and Sasuke is shirtless in his photo, that might be good to keep in mind.**

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Sasuke Uchiha uploaded a new profile picture

Sakura Haruno likes Sasuke Uchiha's profile picture

Sakura Haruno likes Sasuke Uchiha's photo album "Profile Pictures"

Naruto Uzumaki likes Sasuke Uchiha's profile picture

Naruto Uzumaki commented "MMMM THATS MY SEXY BASTARD 3"

Sasuke Uchiha commented "Dobe, this is why the entire school thinks I'm gay."

Ino babyqirll' Yamanaka and 24 others like Sasuke Uchiha's profile picture

Kiba Inuzuka commented "ya luk lik a chik"

Sasuke Uchiha commented "Kiba, both your mom and sister liked this."

Kiba Inuzuka "Well ya cuz there lezbos nd think ur a chik!"

Shikamaru Nara commented "jeez sasuke would it kill you to smile?"

Sasuke Uchiha commented "Coming from the guy whose profile picture is of him sleeping."

Temari Sabaku commented "Oh sure Shikamaru, you've got time to ogle photo's of Sasuke's but not reply to my chat."

Hidan BeGettinThaBitchez commented "u suck mothafucka!"

Kakuzu GimmeTheMoney commeneted "Hidan give me my damn 30 bucks"

Neji Hyuuga commented "No one will ever date your ugly ass."

Sasuke Uchiha commented "Your cousin begs to differ."

Sai YouLackDick commented "You have a small penis."

Naruto Uzumaki commented "Sasuke has the biggest dick ever, shut up sai!"

Menma Namikaze commented "Naruto is gay"

Naruto Uzumaki commented "Shut up bitch!"

Lee Rock commented "magnificent photo Sasuke!"

Sasori Akasuna commented "Sakura's chest looks nicer than that photo."

Menma Namikaze commented "Denials not gonna get you anywhere"

Karin Uzumaki commented "Too hot ;)"

Naruto Uzumaki commented "Coming from the guy with no girlfriend"

Menma Namikaze commented "Oh yeah? Next time you kiss Ino think about where her mouths been (; "

Sasuke Uchiha, Itachi Uchiha, Kiba Inuzuka, Sakura Haruno, Hidan BeGettinThaBitchez, Neji Hyuuga, Shino Aburame, Choji Akimichi, Sai YouLackDick, Pein Uzumaki, Kisame Hoshigaki, Madara FUCKING Uchiha, Suigetsu Hozuki, Gaara Sabaku, Kankuro Sabaku, Deidara NotAGirl, and Sasori Akasuna like Menma's comment.

Naruto Uzumaki commented "Damn Ino did u really blow all these guys?"

Ino Babyqirll' Yamanaka commented "well..yah..them &nd a few othersz..BUT youuh weree thee' beszt..! #RealTalk! I promize babee' 8.15.12 foreverrr baby"

Sakura Haruno commented "ha, whore."

Ino Babyqirll' Yamanaka commented "Jealouss much? att least I can qet some, flatass. likee' deadass yo chest be ODEE flat sak. ;P"

Sai YouLackDick liked Ino Babyqirll' Yamanaka's comment.

Shino Aburame commented "TORCHED^"

Suigetsu Hozuki commented "GAY AS FUCK"

Gaara Sabaku commented "Ugly as hell"

Orochimaru Jackson commented "yum Sasuke, looking better each day. Respond to my inbox when you get the chance c(; "

Sasuke Uchiha commented "I THOUGHT I BLOCKED YOU CREEP"

Hiashi Hyuuga commented "My daughter's dating Fagaku's son? Hinata! Do not disgrace me again!"

Fugaku Uchiha commented "Leave my son alone Hyuuga, and Sasuke put on a shirt boy."

Kushina Uzumaki commented "Naruto get to bed! And oh my Sasuke! Looking more like Mikoto everyday!"

Sasuke Uchiha deleted his facebook.

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**Complete crack, I thought it was pretty funny.**  
**And that's why I don't have a facebook.**  
**Review Please! :D**


	3. Sakura's Status Update

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Facebook. **

**AU: I'm really sorry for the whole Ino whore thing in the previous chapters, it was just for fun. I never meant to insult any of you guys if you like Ino. I don't hate her, otherwise I wouldn't constantly pair her with the main character for one of my OTP's. **  
**To make it up to you guys, I'll bash on Sakura this time. Other chapters will be main on others, this one will be Sakura. And I apologize in advance to anyone who likes Sakura, I don't hate her either! It's just fun to do ya'know? **

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Sakura Haruno updated her status "Omg, why her? Out of all girls, more specifically me. That fakely dyed blue hair to copy his and those horrid creepy eyes! Wtf do you even see in her? And quit it with the stuttering, you're not five. AND STOP STUFFING YOUR BRA, YOUR BOOBS ARE NOT THAT BIG!"

Sai YouLackDick commented "This is very rude of you, ugly."

Sasori Akasuna commented "Just because someone has a bigger rack than yours doesn't mean its fake."

Ino babyqirll' Yamanaka commented "omg stop fucking talking shit forehead!"

Sakura Haruno commented "Shut up pig, you always talk shit."

Ino babyqirll' Yamanaka commented "Ya well, at least I don't talk shit about people and then act all sweet to their face."

Kisame Hoshigaki commented "ahaha yo itachi your brothas a pussy"

Itachi Uchiha commented "SASUKE FUCKING DO SOMETHING"

Sasuke Uchiha commented "Shut the hell up, you're all so damn annoying. And fuck you."

Temari Sabaku commented "Ha! Tryna be slick? Everyone knows you're talking about Hinata."

Kiba Inuzuka commented "Thaa fuck? r u jelus?"

Sakura Haruno commented " As if."

Fugaku Uchiha commented "Ooooo your daughters getting fucking roasted Hyuuga!"

Hidan BeGettinThaBitchez commented "Hinata better beat your ass tomorrow, fucking pussy."

Naruto Uzumaki commented "dam sakura thats really mean to say about hinata"

Menma Namikaze commented "Dont worry sakura, i still love you ;)"

Sakura Haruno commented "Get lost"

Karin Uzumaki commented "Woooow. you jelly girl?"

Sakura Haruno commented "You wish"

Tayuya Samihachi commented "You're fucking one to talk, everyone knows you dye your hair pink too, bitch."

Sakura Haruno commented "You dye your hair too!"

Kin Tsuchi commented " But Tayuya doesn't deny it,"

Sakura Haruno commented "Aw, you still jealous of my soft hair kin?"

Shino Aburame commented "I'll break your neck and feed it to my beetles if you ever say anything about Hinata again."

Tenten Hyuuga commented "What the hell? Last year you tried getting Neji to cheat on me because you supposedly loved his 'horrid creepy eyes'!"

Sakura Haruno commented " Why did you change your last name to his? He's not gonna marry you ya know?"

Neji Hyuuga commented "Leave Tenten and Hinata the hell alone! Still mad cause I wouldn't date your flat ass?"

Hanabi Hyuuga commented "WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? HINATA NEVER DID ANYTHING TO YOU! SASUKE CHOSE HER. IT'S NOT LIKE YOU GOT ANYTHING STOLEN FROM YOU. GO TO HELL. OHMYGOD IF I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU'LL BE TASTING SHOE LEATHER FOR A WEEK."

Hiashi Hyuuga commented "Hanabi! Do not say such foul profanities in this house! And you! Leave my daughter alone, its not her fault you have an unnoticeable bust, it's not her fault she's prettier than you. And its most certainly NOT her fault she caught the attention of Fagaku's ugly ass son. And Hinata! Do not disgrace me again, tell Kizashi's daughter off!"

Kizashi Haruno commented "SAKURA! DELETE THIS. NOW."

Sakura Haruno commented "why everybody gotta be so serious?"

_Konoha News Updated a status "Haruno Sakura was found dead yesterday, several bullets to the heart and multiple stabs all over her body by non other than the Hyuuga Heiress Hinata. They wouldn't let anyone press charges though, the Uchiha Police Force let it slide, apparently as a favor."_

_Everyfuckingone in Konoha likes this. A few folks in Suna. A couple in Ame. And even Sakura's parents._

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**I hope you all enjoyed that! It was a lot of fun to write, and again! I'm sorry if I upset any Sakura fans! This is for fun!  
**

**Review please ! :D**


	4. Best Fights of the Year

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

**This is a highschool based fic.**

* * *

Naruto Uzumaki updated a status "Dam just got suspended for fighting for the 5th time this year. kinda sucks, fuck u bastard!"

Sasuke Uchiha commented "You're as much to blame as I am, Dobe."

Pein Uzumaki commented "This is only your fifth time getting suspended? Weaaaak."

Naruto Uzumaki commented "shut up sasuke and pein you wanna fight again?"

Pein Uzumaki commented "Ha! I fucking would, but I don't want to have to hurt your little girlfriend again."

Naruto Uzumaki commented "shes not my girlfriend and fuck off shes not the type to fight, shes only gotten into like one?"

Kisame Hoshigaki commented "Yea wit her cuzin. LMFAO FUNNIEST SHIT EVR!"

Itachi Uchiha commented "She got the shit beaten out of her, by her own family. That's not funny."

Naruto Uzumaki commented "WTF UR ONE TO TALK YOU FUCKING BEAT THE HELL OUT OF SASUKE SO MANY TIMES UNTIL HE FINALLY BEAT YOU!"

Itachi Uchiha commented "No. It was to make him stronger. And he did not beat me that one time, I went easy on him."

Sasuke Uchiha commented "Sure."

Sakura Haruno commented "SASUKE YOU HAVE TO STOP. YOU'VE GOTTEN INTO FIGHTS WITH TOO MANY PEOPLE, GAARA, NARUTO..TWICE, ZAKU, AND LEE."

Ino Yamanaka commented "Um, Sasuke got his ass kicked by Lee. Broke both of Zaku's arms, and that fight with Gaara would've been good if it wasn't interrupted so early by the administrators."

Sasuke Uchiha commented "Shut up Ino, you act like your fights were better. Yours fucking lasted 15 minutes with Sakura and made me late for class, it was boring as fuck too."

Naruto Uzumaki commented "I thought it was the best catfight"

Hidan BeGettinThaBitchez commented "naaaaah man, best catfight of the year goes to fucking temari and tenten!"

Suigetsu Hozuki commented "Helllll yeaaaaaa! Temari fucking wiped the floor with her ass! Thats why nobody messes with temari anymore!"

Kankuro Sabaku commented "Except Shikamaru.."

Hidan BeGettinThaBitchez commented "THAT BITCH IS A FUCKING PUSSY! ALL HE GOT WAS GIRLS AND HE WOULDN'T EVEN THROW A PUNCH!"

Kiba Inuzuka commented "u still mad cuz he beat you?"

Sakura Haruno commented "It's called chivalry. Men aren't supposed to hit woman, dick."

Hidan BeGettinThaBitchez commented "fuck u kiba and that dosnt explain y zaku punched the hell out of your wideass forehead!"

Temari Sabaku commented "Sasuke sucks, when he fought Yoroi he had to get hospitalized for like weeks."

Shino Aburame commented "He still won."

Shikamaru Nara commented "do any of you remember after neji beat hinata, naruto fought him too? that was such a good fight."

Neji Hyuuga commented "I was holding back."

Naruto Uzumaki commented " Ya ok,"

Tenten Hyuuga commented "Wow Naruto you got in a lot of fights this year.."

Naruto Uzumaki commented "Yaaaa! I remember I fought kiba and totally kicked his ass! and then i fought gaara for sasuke, and deidara and kakuzu and pein and sasuke like a lot!"

Ino Yamanaka commented "Damn Sakura he makes you look bad."

Sakura Haruno commented "What are you talking about? I fought Kin and Sasori! AND YOU!"

Ino Yamanaka commented "Yeah but, our fight was a tie because we got broken up, and I heard Sasori let you win because he'd feel like shit if he beat a girl. AND WTF YOU DID NOT FIGHT KIN! She pulled your hair and you cut it off, oooh real bad sak."

Menma Namikaze commented "FLAMEDDDDD^^^"

Sakura Haruno commented "Shut up, the only person you fight is Naruto."

Menma Namikaze commented "That's because everyone else is too weak to fight."

Sasori Akasuna commented "Do you guys still remember the one time Naruto tried to pick a fight with Principal Tsunade? Stupid ass."

Sasuke Uchiha commented "Hell yeah! Naruto couldn't walk for a week he got fucked up so bad."

Naruto Uzumaki commented "What about you?! the first time u and itachi fought he broke your wrist and u were in the hospital for days!"

Fugaku Uchiha commented "HAHA YOUR NEPHEW BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR DAUGHTER HYUUGA."

Hiashi Hyuuga commented "HAHA BOTH OF YOUR SONS HATE YOU AND CONSTANTLY FIGHT FAGAKU."

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**Don't you just love Fugaku and Hiashi's relationship :)**  
**I wish kids knew how to fight, all they do now is provoke each other and scream "BETCHA WON'T SWING!"  
**

**Review! I love reviews! :D**


	5. This is why Parents shouldn't Facebook

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Facebook.

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Minato Namikaze updated a status "How is it my son always gets suspended?"

Fugaku Uchiha commented "It's because his fathers a dumbass."

Hiashi Hyuuga commented "You think your ugly ass children are better than dead last?"

Fugaku Uchiha commented "I know my children are better than both your daughters could ever be. And stop acting as if Neji's your son, that's Hizashi's pride."

Yondaime Kazekage commented "Neither of your children are better than mine."

Shikaku Nara commented "Your daughter is more of a man than either of your sons."

Yondaime Kazekage commented "YA WELL MAYBE THAT'S WHY SHE HAS YOUR PANSY ASS SON WHIPPED."

Shikaku Nara commented "Yeah, maybe."

Choza Akimichi commented "When's my son gonna get a girlfriend?"

Minato Namikaze commented "Haha, your sons forever alone. While my sons dating Inoichi's girl."

Hiashi Hyuuga commented "After he broke my princesses heart..I'll get Neji to beat him for that."

Inoichi commented "You all have it easy, Ino's always complaining about boys and I have to resist the urge to beat them all for touching my daughter. Minato, tell your son to keep his distance."

Kizashi Haruno commented "All your daughters are nothing compared to Sakura."

Inoichi commented "Your daughters by far the ugliest of their generation."

Hiashi Hyuuga commented "Flat too."

Yondaime Kazekage commented "All your daughter does is cry."

Kizashi Haruno commented "Inoichi your daughters a tramp, Hiashi your daughters are both antisocial, and Kazekage at least my daughter acts like a girl."

Fugaku Uchiha commented "That's why she's still single right?"

Choza Akimichi commented "OOOOOOH BURN!"

Minato Namikaze commented "DUDE YOUR FUCKING WIFE IS MORE MACHO THAN YOU, SHUT UP."

Kizashi Haruno commented "Fagaku, both of your sons are emo punks, and Choza, your son has no friends."

Tsume Inuzuka commented "Eat shit, all of you."

Shikaku Nara commented "Nobody's talking to you, ever."

Yoshino Nara commented "Shikaku! Get off your lazy ass and buy me some chocolate you deadbeat!"

Kushina Uzumaki commented "Minato! I told you to talk some sense into Naruto so he could STOP getting in trouble at school!"

Mikoto Uchiha commented "Fugaku!"

Fugaku Uchiha commented "WHAT?!"

Mikoto Uchiha commented "Nothing dear, love you."

Mebuki Haruno commented "Sakura makes me ashamed of myself."

Karura Kazekage commented "Our children all lack love, I want all of you to go and tell your children you love them. Especially you Fugaku and Hiashi."

Hiashi Hyuuga commented "Whooo. The. Hell. Is This?^"

Fugaku Uchiha commented "I don't know, maybe if we ignore her she'll leave.."

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Wanted to try a new set of characters and thought the parents would be a fun turn. I'm so happy for all the reviews I receive you guys are very nice. AND INO2613 THANK YOU THIS IS VERY SWEET OF YOU TO SAY.

LOVE EVERYONE, REVIEW PLEASE.


	6. Gaara really hates everyone

**THANK YOU OMGSDFJOMRECMDSF  
I WOKE UP THIS MORNING WITH LIKE 20 NOTIFICATIONS FROM FANFICTION  
YOU GUYS ARE VERY SWEET, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THHAAANNKKK YOOUU!**

Guest: THANK YOU, LOVE YOU.  
JulCan1987: THANK YOU, I WILL SURELY BE UPDATING VERY SOON.  
Dbzgirl1011: YESSS SASUHINA FOR LIFE  
Inspirational Stars: Omg yes Hiashi's my favorite! I was imagining his face when he read that like :O and thank you very much for constantly reviewing each of the chapters!  
ShikaInoInuKikIchiHime36: THANKSSSS, I FINALLY IMPRESSED YOU WITH A CHAPTER!  
Guest: I apologize..I WILL DEFINITELY BE WRITING ABOUT GAARA IN THIS CHAPTER!  
: Thank you! It came to me in second period and I was like, DAMN WHAT IF!  
Guest: HELL YEAH HINATA'S THE BADDEST BITCH OUT THERE.  
Ino2613: THANK YOU FOR YOUR SWEET COMMENTS! LOVE YOU.  
deathrosekitty: Sorry about the whole Ino thing, I made her better though, right? anyways THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING AND READING AS WELL :D

I LOVE EVERYONE THAT REVIEWS THIS, THEY'RE VERY SWEET.

* * *

Gaara Sabaku updated a status "I hate everyone."

Sasuke Uchiha likes this.

Gaara Sabaku commented "I hate you too, Uchiha."

Sakura Haruno commented "Gaara, you barely know anyone of the entire human race, I highly doubt you 'hate' everyone."

Gaara Sabaku commented "Shut up, I hate you the most. Your hair is ugly and your face hurts my eyes. Billboard-brow."

Ino Yamanaka commented "HEY! ONLY I GET TO CALL FOREHEAD THAT!"

Gaara Sabaku commented "I hate you too pigface, and you make a terrible couple with Naruto, you guys look like siblings."

Naruto Uzumaki commented "wtf man, we do not look the same!"

Gaara Sabaku commented "No, but that's because you look like a homeless loser that never bathes."

Deidara IsNotAGirl commented "Hahaha, tried yo shit naruto!"

Gaara Sabaku commented "You are by far the girliest man I know, you look like Ino's role model, eyeliner and everything."

Temari Sabaku commented "YOU ALWAYS TAKE MY EYELINER. DON'T TALK SHIT."

Gaara Sabaku commented "Not like you even use it, manface."

Shikamaru Nara commented "Temari's gonna have a bitch fit later.."

Gaara Sabaku commented "I bet you'd like that, it's probably the only time she talks to you."

Kankuro Sabaku commented "Temari's literally driving home right now, you'd better hide."

Gaara Sabaku commented "And you'd better hide the purple makeup you've been stealing from her."

Neji Hyuuga commented "Do not disrespect your family."

Gaara Sabaku commented "Coming from the guy who hated his entire family for a good amount of his life."

Hinata Hyuuga commented "B-but, he is very kind to us now.."

Gaara Sabaku commented "What the hell? HOW THE FUCK DO YOU MANAGE TO STUTTER ONLINE?"

Sasori Akasuna commented "You're such a brat,"

Gaara Sabaku commented "You're almost 40, get married, have some kids, live life. You're a loser."

Kisame Hoshigaki commented "ahahaha he told u sasori!"

Gaara Sabaku commented "You're face disgusts me."

Sai YouLackDick commented "Apparently the reason why everyone is not responding is because they are mildly offended, if you would like to keep your friends I suggest being nicer."

Gaara Sabaku commented "OH MY GOOOOOOD, SHUUUUT THE HELLL UP. YOU ARE BY FAR THE MOST ANNOYING, STUPID, FAGGOT I HAVE EVER MET IN MY LIFE."

Sai YouLackDick commented "You lack dick."

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**I REALLY LOVE THAT YOU GUYS ENJOY THESE!**

**I LIKE HOW I CAN JUST TYPE ONE OUT WITH OUT WORRYING IF THEY'RE TOO OOC OR IF THE STORY DOESNT MAKE SENSE, BECAUSE THAT'S THE MAGIC OF CRACK  
**

**GLORIOUS CRACK ;D  
**

**REVIEW PLEASE. THEY MAKE ME SMILE :)  
**


	7. Damn kids

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Facebook.

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Fugaku Uchiha wrote on Kakashi Hatake's wall "Alright, what's this about?"

Kakashi Hatake commented "Right, err. Mr. and Mrs. Uchiha, Principal Tsunade told us to inform parents of any issues with their children's behavior by any means, even if an online social network is what it comes down to."

Mikoto Uchiha commented "We know, now what is it with Sasuke?"

Kakashi Hatake commented "Well you see, Sasuke is a very good student, he works well alone and does very good in class. However, your son is both emotionally unstable and has no manners whatsoever."

Fugaku Uchiha commented "Emotionally unstable, how so?"

Kakashi Hatake commented "For starters, if anyone talks to him in class he threatens them with death and can't go a day without picking a fight with somebody."

Fugaku Uchiha commented "That's my boy :)"

Mikoto Uchiha commented "FUGAKU!"

Fugaku Uchiha commented "Okay okay, we will definitely be talking to Sasuke about this."

Kakashi Hatake commented "Thank you, that'd be very nice."

Mebumi Haruno commented "What is it?"

Kakashi Hatake commented "I'm afraid I have some bad news about your daughter,"

Kizashi Haruno commented "She's not failing is she?"

Kakashi Hatake commented "No no, quite the opposite, however, yesterday when everyone got their tests back, Sakura got a 98% and went ballistic."

Mebumi Haruno commented "WHAT QUESTION? SAKURA! GROUNDED. STUDY NOW."

Kizashi Haruno commented "Calm down honey, and what do you mean?"

Kakashi Hatake commented "I'm talking, throwing desks with students still in them across the room crazy."

Mebumi Haruno commented "Well I apologize for my daughters very rude behavior, I will be seeing her about this soon. Goodbye."

Kakashi Hatake commented "Will Mayor Namikaze of Konoha city please see me."

Minato Namikaze commented "Yes?"

Kakashi Hatake commented "Your son, Naruto. He's got potential, but he tests awfully. And is extremely loud and disruptive in class."

Kushina Uzumaki commented "Whatcha tryna say, ya'know?"

Kakashi Hatake commented "What I'm saying is, take better care of your son. And Mayor, I understand you are Menma's uncle?"

Minato Namikaze commented "Is there something wrong with him too?"

Kakashi Hatake commented "Indeed, Menma constantly shoots spitballs and throws scissors across the room."

Minato Namikaze commented "Ah, very well then."

Kakashi Hatake commented "One more thing, Kushina. I have reason to believe both Karin and Nagato Uzumaki are distant relatives of yours?"

Kushina Uzumaki commented "Pein? Yes, they're both in my care. Why?"

Kakashi Hatake commented "Because Karin has been trying to seduce me lately to raise her grades, and I can't help but notice Nagato is always intoxicated and/or stoned."

Kushina Uzumaki commented "Interesting..I'll be sure to bring it up tonight."

Kakashi Hatake commented "And because I lost the bet, I have to be the one to talk to Orochimicheal.."

Orochimaru Jackson commented "Yesss dear?"

Kakashi Hatake commented "Tayuya. She's a very nice girl isn't she?"

Orochimaru Jackson commented "Yesss she isssssss."

Kakashi Hatake commented "Kami, now I know why you were banned for at least a 20 mile school radius, anyways, she's expelled. She shoved her flute down Dosu's throat because he played a sour note in band."

Orochimaru Jackson commented "Lovelyyyyy."

Kakashi Hatake commented "Asuma would you like to take on from here."

Asuma Sarutobi commented "Of course not, but I have to. So would the parents or guardians of Shikamaru Nara please comment."

Yoshino Nara commented "What?!"

Asuma Sarutobi commented "Umm, no offense but I'd much rather speak to your husband."

Yoshino Nara commented "He's asleep like the lazy bastard he is, now what do you want."

Asuma Sarutobi commented "It's your son, Shikamaru. He refuses to make an effort and is failing. He frequently falls naps in class, too."

Yoshino Nara commented "Is he now? I'll show that little runt."

Asuma Sarutobi commented "..Are Ino Yamanaka's parents here?"

Inoichi Yamanaka commented "Right here, is there something wrong with my little girl?"

Asuma Sarutobi commented "Ino is a fantastic scholar, she's very good to have in a class. Although, she tends to get a bit too friendly with her classmates, specifically boys."

Inoichi Yamanaka commented "What are you implying here? You calling my daughter a slut?"

Asuma Sarutobi commented "Absolutely not sir. I just wanted to let you know."

Inoichi Yamanaka commented "Thanks."

Asuma Sarutobi commented "Choji Akimichi's parents are the last I have to see."

Choza Akimichi commented "Did Choji get a girlfriend yet?"

Asuma Sarutobi commented "I'm afraid not, but your son has been eating in class since the beginning of the year and he leaves crumbs and then the Aburame kids' bugs come and ugh, I don't like it. Tell him to stop."

Choza Akimichi commented "Understood."

Asuma Sarutobi commented "That went well, Kurenai, you're up."

Kurenai Yuhi commented "Yeah yeah, is Tsume Inuzuka online?"

Tsume Inuzuka commented "Whatcha need girly?"

Kurenai Yuhi commented "Right, your son Kiba hits on me in class and this is the 8th time I've heard him bark. Is everything alright?"

Tsume Inuzuka commented "WAT?! LISEN HEER PRINCESS IVE BEEN MARRIED BEFORE. DO U KNOW WAT ITS LIKE 2 RAISE 2 KIDS ALONE? NO. SO THINK TWICE BEFOR U CRITISIZE ME & MY FAMLY. GUD DAY."

Kurenai Yuhi commented "Ma'am please, that isn't what I said at all!"

Kurenai Yuhi commented "Ms. Inuzuka?"

Kurenai Yuhi commented "Well then, I'd like to speak to Hiashi Hyuuga please?"

Hiashi Hyuuga commented "What do you need?"

Kurenai Yuhi commented "It's about your daughter. Hinata, has been skipping class lately and recently got caught crying in the girls bathroom."

Hiashi Hyuuga commented "What else is new, god she's so timid. I'll get Neji to beat anyone who looks at her. Thank you for your time."

Kurenai Yuhi commented "What? No Hiashi please, that isn't what I meant."

Shibi Aburame commented "Guess that only leaves me.."

Kurenai Yuhi commented "Who are..Oh! You must be Shino's father, yes yes. There's nothing wrong with your son, actually."

Shibi Aburame commented "Goodbye."

Kurenai Yuhi commented "Guy, please take over."

Might Guy commented "ALRIGHT KURENAI! THANKS FOR THE ENTRANCE, SINCE NEITHER OF MY STUDENTS HAVE ANY PARENTS I'D LIKE TO TALK TO HIASHI HYUUGA WORLDS BIGGEST DOUCHE BAAAAAAG, oh and the guardian of Neji."

Fugaku Uchiha commented "Damn, would you like some Aloe Vera? CUZ YOU JUST GOT BUURNNNEEDDD!"

Hiashi Hyuuga commented "What. AND FUCK YOU FAGAKU."

Might Guy commented "OUR YOUTHFUL NEJI'S GOTTEN HIMSELF INTO A LITTLE SCUFFLE WITH YOUR SON FUGAKU."

Hiashi Hyuuga commented "Did he win?"

Might Guy commented "THAT REMAINS UNKNOWN."

Hiashi Hyuuga commented "He probably did."

Fugaku Uchiha commented "In your dreams."

Hiashi Hyuuga commented "YOUR WIFE HAD AN AFFAIR WITH YOU TO HAVE MENMA WITH MINATO HA!"

Fugaku Uchiha commented "YOUR WIFE'S DEAD HA!"

* * *

**I just really love writing about the parents man,  
**

**I really love the whole Kushina Minato Pein Karin Menma Naruto family thing too, I should totally write a oneshot or something on it.  
**

**AND HOLY FUCK DOESNT MENMA LOOK LIKE A CHILD FROM MINATO AND MIKOTO? BLACK HAIR, MINATO'S FACE, SHARINGAN?!  
**

**Anyways, I need your opinions..who would go better with Kakashi? Anko or Shizune?  
**

**Shizune is very cute with Genma (BADASSMOTHAFUCKAAA) but I also really like her with Kakashi,  
**

**I could go either way on them really, gnsaviondvfiofds  
**

**YOU GUYS SHOULD TOTALLY GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS ON WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT IN THE NEXT EFFIN CHAPTERS.  
**

**I WAS PLANNING ON WRITING IN SAI'S PERSPECTIVE, ever since the movie bonds Ive liked him, HE CUTE.  
**

**AND DID YOU GUYS SEE HOW BADASS ASUMA WAS IN HIS ACADEMY DAYS? HE WAS TALKING TO KURENAI LIKE A PIMP MAN!  
**

**please review :D**


	8. Sai's a cutie

**THX 4 DA SUJESDSHUNS GIUZ I PRISHIATE IHT :D**

* * *

Sakura Haruno updated a status "Everyone's hooking up, and I'm forever alone :c"

Sai YouLackDick commented "You're actually surprised, ugly?"

Kurenai Yuhi updated a status "This baby's too big, I might cry when I give birth."

Sai YouLackDick commented "You weren't crying when you were riding that dick."

Ino Yamanaka updated a status "OMG NARUTO YOU'RE TOO CUTE I LOVE YOU."

Sai YouLackDick commented "Just last week you told him how disgusting he was and that you hated him."

Pein Uzumaki updated a status "Got my septum pierced!"

Sai YouLackDick commented "Can you even tell what your penis is from all the piercings on it?"

Shino Aburame updated a status "Does anyone even notice when I'm absent or not?"

Sai YouLackDick commented "No, infact do your parents even care for you?"

Shikamaru Nara updated a status "Why is it I always end up with the bill when we eat at restaurants?"

Sai YouLackDick commented "Perhaps you shouldnt sleep before we even order."

Sasuke Uchiha updated a status "I'll find you brother."

Sai YouLackDick commented "And then what? Are you going to perform anal sex with him?"

Kiba Inuzuka updated a status "Txt me ;) 541-355-4877"

Sai YouLackDick commented "You're going to end up with pedophiles calling you."

Choji Akimichi updated a status "Looking for someone to be mine :)"

Sai YouLackDick commented "Kiba might be interested."

Hinata Hyuuga updated a status "..."

Sai YouLackDick commented "What? Should I hit you?"

Itachi Uchiha updated a status "AHAHAHA KEESAMI WAZ HEER!"

Sai YouLackDick commented "Get a haircut, you look like a faggot."

Naruto Uzumaki updated a status "peepl neid 2 stp byng so stoopihdt"

Sai YouLackDick commented "You're getting hit."

Neji Hyuuga updated a status "I'll get you Uchiha.."

Sai YouLackDick commented "..In the ass."

Deidara IsNotAGirl updated a status "Why can't we all be friends?"

Sai YouLackDick commented "I'd personally love to be friends with a lesbian :)"

Kakashi Hatake uploaded a video

Sai YouLackDick commented "Glad to see you've finally came out of the closet."

Danzo StealYaSharingan updated a status "All my plans are being foiled."

Sai YouLackDick commented "You lack dick."

Killer B updated a status "YO HAY HOOO! IMA FUCK YO BITCH IN THE ASS, TILL SHE SCREAMS TO STOP, TILL I RUN OUTTA GASSSSS"

Sai YouLackDick commented "I know a few council members who would love your mandingo."

* * *

**BECAUSE SAI'S HOOOOOOOOOOOOT ;D**

**AND TO ALL MY LOVELY ASS REVIEWERS THANK YOU, I CANT BELIEVE 30 REVIEWS I CANT EVEN  
**

**anyways, I'm planning some other shit soon, HINT HINT IT'S VAGUE AS FACK AND GONNA INVOLCE THE AKATSUKI AND KONOHA'S JONIN.  
**

**THANKS FOR THE IDEA BlackMajjicDuchess :D  
**


	9. PARTYING WITH THE AKATSUKI HOLLA

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

Tsunade Senju uploaded a new photo album called "AIOFGMERIOM DRUNKKK AZ FACK!MFEWOE"

Sasuke Uchiha commented "What the hell? Is that Itachi poledancing?"

Shizune Kato commented "Yeah, that boys got more talent in his right foot than I do in my entire body."

Sakura Haruno commented "How'd you guys manage to get Sasori to sing karaoke?"

Kakashi Hatake commented "He's got such a beautiful voice, it's a shame he'd only do it while drunk, wasted talent.."

Kiba Inuzuka commented "ahahahaah i get it^"

Shikamaru Nara commented "Is that Hidan, splashing beer on Shizune and Genma..kissing?"

Hidan BeGettinThaBitchez commented "Hell ya! u fukin no it fag!"

Choji Akimichi commented "Isn't it a bit dangerous posting a picture of a gang sign Kotetsu?"

Kotetsu Hagane commented "I'm partying with the Akatsuki, it doesn't get much dangerous than that.."

Kakuzu GimmeTheMoney commented "True that."

Sasuke Uchiha commented "Would anyone like to explain to me why Kakashi is jumping out of a window? Without any clothes on?"

Hidan BeGettinThaBitchez commented "the bitch akshuly did it! i bet he woodnt jump owt of tha windo & liv!"

Ino Yamanaka commented "Woah, Asuma smoking out of a bong, shocker."

Tsunade Senju commented "ya hima nd the uzumaki bastard pein were hogging it all night."

Pein Uzumaki commented "How did you even know? You were doing shots with Kisame all night!"

Tsunade Senju commented "I'm very observant, runt. Otherwise, I wouldn't have known you drugged bluey and fucked her behind the couch."

Konan Uzumaki commented "I was actually willing,"

Kotetsu Hagane commented "Damn Izumo, have I ever told you how great you look in a skirt?"

Izumo Kamizuki commented "Never, Kotetsu."

Neji Hyuuga commented "Why'd you guys invite Gai?"

Kisame Hoshigaki commented "R U KIDDIN?! HES THE LYF OF THA PARTI!"

Sakura Haruno commented "Is that Shizune shaving her head?"

Anko Mitarashi commented "LOL YA! I TOLD HER SHED NEVER DO IT. BUT SHIZUNE CAN BE A DETERMINED BITCH WHEN SHE WANTS TO."

Shino Aburame commented "What's with the strawberries and whipped cream?"

Kurenai Yuuhi commented "You don't wanna know.."

Kiba Inuzuka commented "I do.."

Naruto Uzumaki commented "nice grammy, gambling with kakuzu"

Tsunade Senju commented "he won :c"

Gaara Sabaku commented "Why is everyone throwing furniture?"

Deidara IsNotAGirl commented "WE HAD A FUCKING BAR FIGHT!"

Tsunade Senju commented "ya and u guys totally wrecked my office..SO WORTH IT!"

Tenten Hyuuga commented "Is that a poster of the backstreet boys?"

Genma Shiranui commented "Shizune's a big fan.."

Rock Lee commented "Is it safe to be drinking alcohol and starting fires in the same place?"

Pein Uzumaki commented "You kids ask too many questions."

Kiba Inuzuka commented "Ok y r shizune and anko pulling each others hair?"

Kakashi Hatake commented "They were fighting over who gets to suck me first."

Sakura Haruno commented "SENSEI!"

Itachi Uchiha commented "That's a lie, they were fighting over the last cupcake, they're very big on sweets."

Hinata Hyuuga commented "Kakuzu..your hand..it's bleeding."

Kakuzu GimmeTheMoney commented "haha a nice lad chewing senbon told me he'd give me 5,000 yen if I cut my right hand off, the sap."

Sasuke Uchiha commented "Kotetsu and Izumo swinging on a chandelier, while Tsunade is vomiting. Classic."

Shikamaru Nara commented "Genma, why's your mouth filled with blood?"

Genma Shiranui commented "Oh, I've been meaning to get my tongue pierced and with Pein there, I kinda took advantage of the opportunity."

Kankuro Sabaku commented "Konan's kicking ass in arm wrestling."

Sasori Akasuna commented "Shut up."

Temari Sabaku commented "Why is Deidara wearing make up?"

Shizune Kato commented "oh ya i gave him a makeover."

Sasuke Uchiha commented "I've lost respect for all of you."

Naruto Uzumaki commented "DO U GUYS DO THIS OFTEN?"

Tsunade Senju commented "ya before every war really."

Izumo Kamizuki commented "You should've been there while all your parents were young and Madara was still alive, now THAT was a party!"

Kakashi Hatake commented "THATS TRUE! YOU KIDS DONT KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING EXCEPT CRY AND FUCK SHIT UP."

* * *

**THANKS A BILLION ZILLION BUNCHES FGNJIMV TO BLACKMAJJICDUCHESS FOR THE IDEA . LOVE YOU,**

**LOVE EVERYONE THAT REVIEWS IM AT 43 NOW THA FAAACK?  
**

**THATS VERY SWEET, THANK YOU  
**

**oh and the kids are basically scrolling through the pictures, if you guys got confused.  
**

**I'VE GOT CAROL BRADY HAIR AND I KNOW ALL OF USHER'S DANCES.  
**

**REVIEW PLEASE, ME ENCANTA CUANDO USTEDES EXAMEN :D  
**


	10. Konoha vs Monoha

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Facebook.**

* * *

Menma Namikaze updated a status "Hell yeah! Monoha 16 Konoha 12, can't beat us Uzumaki!"

Naruto Uzumaki commented "yo eat shit man, maybe if hasuke wasnt groping me the entire time wed have won that shit"

Menma Uzumaki commented "Yeah, you keep telling yourself that."

Hasuke Chinchilla commented "Sorry Naruto, I just wanted to know whether you swung that way or not ;)"

Sasuke Uchiha commented "Fucking faggot, if it weren't for your bitchass getting in the way I could've made a touchdown."

Hasuke Chinchilla commented "Maybe I wanted a 'touchdown' first ;)"

Sakura Haruno commented "Stay away from MY Sasuke!"

Bakura Charuno commented "You know, if you want him, you can take his boyfriend Hasuke, he's so annoying."

Ino Yamanaka commented "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT WE LOST SAKURA, STEP YOUR CHEER GAME UP!"

Sakura Haruno commented "Shut up! I'm trying! At least I wasn't like that Gino girl.."

Bakura Charuno commented "Seriously Gino, what have I told you about being less modest, especially during games?"

Gino Kanamaya commented "I'm sorry! My skirt, it was just too short!"

Tinaja Fuckya commented "Shut up bitches, everyone knows Konoha doesn't have shit on Monoha. So I'd rather you all quit complaining before shit gets real."

Ino Yamanaka commented "Who you callin a bitch? And yeahfuckingright, Monoha doesn't even have a mascot."

Tinaja Fuckya commented "You, bitch. Yeah? Well its better than your fucking tree mascot."

Hinata Hyuuga commented "Ino really, we shouldn't be starting fights.."

Tinaja Fuckya commentd "Yo you wanna bump? I saw how Menma was looking at you at the game, so back off, he's mine."

Chikamalu Tara commented "Its all the receevers falt, if he wasnt waching the sky maybe u guys wodve won."

Shikamaru Nara commented "oh yeah? well at least i looked smart while looking at the sky, unlike your dumbass."

Kiba Inuzuka commented "ur all rong, its the rite tackle that was sucking"

Simba Nekozuka commented "shut up bitch u sucked to"

Kiba Inuzuka commented "pussy"

Simba Nekozuka commented "bitch"

Menma Namikaze commented "Calm down Simba, just leave the sore losers alone."

Naruto Uzumaki commented "you know what? Rematch, right now. meet us at the alley near the ramen shop. ill show you whos number one"

Menma Namikaze commented "You know I would, but I don't feel like kicking your ass twice."

Sasuke Uchiha commented "What's the matter? Afraid we'll beat you?"

Hasuke Chinchilla commented "We weren't afraid last time, and we're still not. Bring it on prettyboy."

Tinaja Fuckya commented "Stop wasting your time on these losers and come over already Menma!"

Menma Namikaze commented "Yeah sorry Uzumaki I'm busy, maybe Ill beat your ass later. I've got plans ;)"

* * *

** I read this fanfic earlier about Naruto AU highschool with like the rtn character personalities.  
**

**It was really good, and as soon as I watch RTN I'll write somesort of Fanfic Highschool Vs. Highschool on it, like when the original cast meet their dopplegangers. ahaha the names I picked are TOOOO LAME,  
**

**HASUKE CHINCHILLA AS SASUKE  
**

**TINAJA FUCKYA? AS HINATA ?  
**

**MENMA AS NARUTO, DUUUH**

**BAKURA AS SAKURA  
**

**GINO AS INO  
**

**SIMBA AS KIBA AHAHAHA  
**

**CHIKAMALU AS SHIKAMARU  
**

**I would've added more, but I have to sleep. because I get up at 5 and go to school come back at 2, do homework, eat, shower, read, more homework, eat, and then sleep by like 9. seriously my schooldays suck.  
**

**Weirdo, anyways. Gaara should be in RTN, he'd be a cutie, LIKE EFFIN MENMA HOLY SHIT THAT BOYS SO PERF. OMG.  
**

**OHHOOIHOH AND DID YOU KNOW INUZUKA AND UZUMAKI ARE NEARLY ANAGRAMS? IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE M AND N.  
**

**Review please! THERES NOTHING BETTER THAN GETTING NOTIFICATIONS WHILE IM IN CLASS THAT YOU GUYS LIKE AND ARE REVIEWING THIS, REALLY IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY I SMILE LIKE A LOSER AND MY TEACHERS LIKE, GIMME THA FONE!  
**

**50 REVIEWS, THANK YOU. THAT'S VERY SWEET, LOVE EVERYONE.  
**


	11. The Uchiha vs The Hyuuga

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

Itachi Uchiha updated a status "The Uchiha's will always be more elite than the Hyuuga's."

Fugaku Uchiha likes this.

Mikoto Uchiha likes this.

Sasuke Uchiha hates you but likes this.

Fugaku Uchiha commented "Atta boy."

Neji Hyuuga commented "Now hold the hell up, who are you?"

Sasuke Uchiha commented "My brother."

Neji Hyuuga commented "Looks more like sister. But in any case, you shouldn't lie to yourself."

Mikoto Uchiha commented "Excuse you?"

Hanabi Hyuuga commented "He's right. No point lying to yourself lady."

Mikoto Uchiha commented "What a rude young lady you are."

Hinata Hyuuga commented "Hanabi please, don't get angry over the internet."

Hanabi Hyuuga commented "What makes you think I'm angry?"

Hinata Hyuuga commented "I can hear you pounding your keyboard from my bedroom.."

Hiashi Hyuuga commented "Hanabi stop smashing your computer and Hinata don't defend the enemies."

Fugaku Uchiha commented "See, this is why we're better. You don't see me castigating my sons."

Hiashi Hyuuga commented "Thats because your sons are psychopathic killers who don't listen to you anyway."

Fugaku Uchiha commented "Shut up Hyuuga, you don't have any pupils."

Hiashi Hyuuga commented "Neither do you, Fagaku."

Hinata Hyuuga commented "Father, please stop."

Sasuke Uchiha commented "Ah, so now she has a voice."

Hinata Hyuuga commented "..."

Sasuke Uchiha commented "You can't '...' online stupid."

Itachi Uchiha commented "Owned^"

Hanabi Hyuuga commented "Shut up, you've got longer hair than Hinata."

Itachi Uchiha commented "No, she just has really short hair, thats why she looks like a guy."

Neji Hyuuga comments "The length of someones hair doesn't make them a boy or girl, its their eyelashes that matter, Mr. Maybelline Falsies."

Itachi Uchiha commented "Only fags like you would know the brand, and might I suggest a haircut? Your younger cousin looks more masculine than you."

Hanabi Hyuuga commented "I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A BOY."

Fugaku Uchiha commented "Nice work boy."

Hinata Hyuuga commented " *Girl."

Sasuke Uchiha commented "So Hinata's got some fight in her, this is new."

Hinata Hyuuga commented "Shut up SauceGAY. You make Sai look interesting, Sir Douche."

Itachi Uchiha commented "Beaten by a girl, foolish little brother."

Hinata Hyuuga commented "You too, your only friend is a talking fish and Kiba's sister."

Hana Inuzuka commented "Be quiet."

Fugaku Uchiha commented "Boy, whatd I tell you about losing to woman."

Hinata Hyuuga commented "You, are probably one of if not the biggest bastards in this entire world, no wonder your sons are so terrible, half of their genes came from you. Fagaku."

Hiashi Hyuuga commented "That's enough out of you Hinata. Only I get to call Fagaku that. Sorry Uchiha, bros?"

Fugaku Uchiha commented, "Bros...Dick."

* * *

**yeah this happened a lot, they'd get mad and then just be like "aiqht so we qud? we bros aqainn?" **

**THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REVIEWS, I'VE NEVER REALLY CHECKED TO VIEWS ON THIS BUT WHEN I DID I WAS AMAZED TO SEE MORE THAN 100 VIEWS EVERYDAY :O ITS SO AWSOME, THANKS GUYS, FOR ALL THE REVIEWS, FOLLOWS, PM'S, AND SUPPORT :D**

**AND WTF THAT LAST CHAPTER MUST'VE SUCKED IF YOU GUYS THOUGHT THE AU WAS FUNNY. DAMN. OR MAYBE YOU JUST THOUGHT MY SPANISH TEACHER WAS FUNNY? CAZ SHE FONNY AZ FACK  
**


	12. Shut the fucking hell up

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

Konohamaru Sarutobi updated a status "Drugs, bitches, and gettin money. thuggin' dog."

Kenai Dumbasscivilianfangirl likes this

Maiki otherstupidassfangirl commented "liek omq konohamaru t2 ckute ;3"

Hanabi Hyuuga commented "Who're your bitches? Meogi and Udon? Iruka-sensei perhaps?"

Naruto Uzumaki commented "what do u kids use for drugs anyways? glue?"

Sasuke Uchiha commented "They probably snort chalk dust."

Hidan BeGettinThaBitches commented "hell ya fukin rite!"

Tsunade Senji commented "You think ignorance is cute?"

Ino Yamanaka commented "The only reason you get money is because you're fucking rich."

Udon Konohamaru'sfriendwhoisnotgay commented "dude your not my bro anymore"

Kisame Hoshigaki commented "yo heedan yur spelin suks ged ejukayted mang"

Gaara Sabaku commented "You have no friends."

Sai YouLackDick commented "Is this to cover for your abnormally small penis?"

Kiba Inuzuka commented "I bet the closest you've gotten to first base is with the harem jutsu."

Choji Akimichi commented "Kinda like how you've only gotten to first base with Akamaru?"

Temari Sabaku commented "Shutcho bitchass up Konohamaru."

Shikamaru Nara commented "What would Asuma say?"

Asuma isfuckingalive Sarutobi commented "Your parents wanted a girl."

* * *

**I'm sorry for the long wait, I couldn't get inspired to write something funny. Not with all this fucking school work teachers think is cool to give me, don't they know I put more effort in my fanfics than on any of their projects? Well, I have school in 6 hours because I'm a procrastinator and wait until the last minute to do long ass projects so I stayed up the entire night.**

**Goodnight/morning.**

**bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks  
**


	13. Happy Birthday Naruto!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. **

**I'M JUST HIS SLAVE.  
**

* * *

Ino Yamanaka and 384 others wrote on Naruto Uzumaki's wall

Ino Yamanaka posted "Naruto! Happy birthday :D I'll see you tonite (;"

Sai YouLackDick commented "Damn Ino, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

Inoichi Yamanaka commented "No."

Sasuke Uchiha posted "I'm still older than you, dobe."

Naruto Uzumaki commented "And uglier."

Kisame Hoshigaki posted "hapi birthda sorie 4 almost chopin ur legz of"

Naruto Uzumaki commented "No problem! thanks!"

Hinata Hyuuga commented "Happy Birthday Naruto :)"

Naruto Uzumaki commented "Thanks hinata :D"

Sasuke Uchiha commented "Hinata doesn't like you."

Sakura Haruno posted "Happy birthday, start paying for your own ramen."

Naruto Uzumaki commented "Yeah, maybe when I turn 40."

Sai YouLackDick posted "Happy birthday, maybe it'll grow?"

Naruto Uzumaki commented "FUCK YOU"

Sai YouLackDick commented "No thank you, didn't know you were gay too."

Menma Namikaze posted "happy birthday to both of us it seems, i'm still better looking."

Naruto Uzumaki commented "happy birthday to you too, and not a chance."

Iruka Umino posted "Happy birthday! It seems like only yesterday that my parents died on your birth."

Naruto Uzumaki commented "yeah.."

Hidan BeGettinThaBitchez posted "ayo muddafugga hbd ugli bich"

Naruto Uzumaki commented "what?"

Hidan BeGettinThaBitchez commented "hapy birthdai dum bich"

Insomnia Sucks posted "NARUTO HAPPY BIRTHDAY MI AMORRRRRRR THANKS FOR BEING THE GREATEST ANIME WITH THE BEST CHARACTERS AND PAIRINGS AND IF KISHI DOESN'T MAKE MY OTP'S COME TRUE THAT'LL BE OK. THANK YOU FOR HAVING SHIT LOADS OF FANART AND FANFICS THAT KEEP ME UP ALL NIGHT AND BEING THE REASON WHY I'M FAILING THE SEMESTER. THANK YOU SO MUCH, AND DON'T LISTEN TO MENMA YOU ARE THEEEEEE CAUTEST CHARACTER IN YOUR SERIES. LOVE YOU. ^~^"

Naruto Uzumaki commented "Who the hell?"

* * *

**This was supposed to be uploaded yesterday, pero ya tu sabes, shit happens.  
**

**Anyways, THX 4 70 REVIEWS, I REALIZE THESE CHAPTERS ARE SHIT AND I SHOULD STOP WRITING SHIT BECAUSE I HATE GIVING YOU GUYS SHIT. BUT THIS ONE WAS MANDATORY FOR ME. OK.  
**

**OOOOOOOOOOH SHIT  
**

**AND LOOK AT MY AVATAR. IK IT SUCKS BUT I THOUGHT THE WHOLE IDEA OF A LOVE SQUARE WAS CUTE WITH THEIR EYES ON THEIR LOVERS.  
**


	14. Jashinmas mothafocka

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Facebook or Christmas or even my own house.**

* * *

****

Hidan BeGettinThaBitchez updated a status "alrit modafukas da hell yall wnt 4 ur unholy xmas"

Ino Yamanaka commented "Shoes, size 5. Red nail polish, the matte kind though. Coconut scented lotion. And..ugh a few other things I can't remember."

Hidan BeGettinThaBitchez commented "o is tht it? no fancy new car? fuk u & ur godam prezents u aint getin shit 4 xmas"

Sakura Haruno commented "Why do you care? It's not like you to be gracious, even on the holidays."

Hidan BeGettinThaBitchez commented "tru as fuk pinki but i lost the bet wit da akatski & i'm santa 4 yall dis yeer so qwit complanin & jst tel mi wat u wnt"

Sakura Haruno commented "Lovely, I want a puppy, more pink hairdye, and some cookies please."

Hidan BeGettinThaBitchez commented "a puppy? tha fuk u want a dog 4 ? don't u already have that 1 kid? kija? kila? cukiez finna mak u fat af, and tf y do u dye ur hair pink its ugli LIK U"

Naruto Uzumaki commented "um can i hav a couple cup ramens plz"

Hidan BeGettinThaBitchez commented "ya of cors & then can u suk my dik plz?"

Sasuke Uchiha commented " Kill yourself, thats what I want for christmas."

HidanBeGettinThaBitchez commented "It doznt mater how many timz i dy i'm imortal JASHIN BICH!"

Shino Aburame commented "Designer Sunglasses."

Hidan BeGettinThaBitchez commented "O? ok ill jst kill haf ur famili 4 da mony & den by u som ok booboo?"

Kiba Inuzuka commented "Akamaru sayd he wants a new chew toy nd i want 1 2"

Hidan BeGettinThaBitchez commented "lol yall can chew on eech otherz nuts as a chew toi"

Shikamaru Nara commented "bring asuma back for christmas you cunt"

Hidan BeGettinThaBitchez commented "still mad boy? tht wuz lik 3 yeers ago"

Lee Rock commented "I WOULD LIKE YOUR YOUTHFUL SELF FOR CHRISTMAS."

Hidan BeGettinThaBitchez commented "um fuk no fag"

Hinata Hyuuga commented "Can I please have some cinnamon rolls?"

Hidan BeGettinThaBitchez commented "sinamin rolz will all go 2 ur ass nd mak u luk puffier then u alredi r"

Neji Hyuuga commented "Nice."  
Hidan BeGettinThaBitchez commented "keepin it reel homie"

TenTen commented "A few shuriken, a new set of kunai would be nice, oh and if you could maybe an AK47?"

Hidan BeGettinThaBitchez commented "ahaha ya ill get ya tht"

Gaara Sabaku commented "How about you kill my entire village for christmas? And if I wake up and see anyone I know, I'll kill you.

Hidan BeGettinThaBitchez commented "u kids r all fukin greedy nd ugly 2 i'm getin sakura som tweezers cuz her ibrowz fuked up, sasgay som weed, naruto u can hav som of my hairgel and ino u'll be lucki 2 b aliv by xmas mornin"

* * *

**y do yall even fukin reed dis shitfic? its booty.**

**BUUUUUT STILL ID LIKE TO THANK ALL YOU LOVELY PEOPLE WHO CONTINUED TO REVIEW AND TELL ME ITS NOT THAT BAD, LOVE YALL :)**

**and to the guest that called me a cabrona, MIERDA MAMI, QUE LO QUE HAY? jk, thx 4 revuing bbyqrl ;***


	15. mmmmmsorry

**Disclaimer: I own Naruto like I passed the drug and alcohol section of my permit test.**

**Which I failed twice. **

**~THIRD TIMES THE CHARM~**

* * *

Pein Uzumaki updated his status. "Frenum ladder piercing!"

Sai YouLackDick commented. "Quick question; if you somehow managed to disembody your entire penis, would a metal rod grow back in its place? Are you ready, Gaara?"

Gaara Sabaku commented. "Born ready. Nagato I'd just like to inform you that not only does your entire gang of no-talent misfits never fail to repulse me, but your frequent updates on protruding gears in your concupiscent parts remain the worst things I've ever read in my entire life. Have a terrible day and I hope you die."

Hidan BeGettinThaBitches commented "^^^^ahaha nagatos ur naem? more lik..naGAYto hahaahahaaa"

Sai YouLackDick commented "Yes, that may be the case. In such fortunate events, would that elate you?"

Hidan BeGettinThaBitches commented "wat"

Sai YouLackDick commented "Knowing that your leader is openly homosexual and that you will be able to engage in various lewd activities without the wrath of his girlfriend?"

Naruto Uzumaki updated a status "if yall cant tell teh difrense butween pork nd beef ramen, ur doin it rong"

Gaara Sabaku commented "Then I guess everyone's been doing everything wrong their entire lives. Because if anyone is that inane to leave that swill long enough in their mouths to actually differentiate the tastes, they are more braindead than the livestock used to produce it."

Konohamaru Sarutobi commented "woah chilllllll bruh"

Sai YouLackDick commented "Everyone here is of moderate temperature, perhaps you should warm up or..GET ROASTED."

Shikamaru Nara commented "hey man take it easy, thats my like..nephew or something"

Gaara Sabaku commented "How pathetic of you to be taking the place of your former sensei. You've got a full eighteen years of that ahead. Heard Kurenai's in labor or something, don't really care. But if you raise the child to be as lazy as your putrid self, I will see to it that you never get the chance to have your own vile offspring."

Orochimaru Jackson updated a status "if sssssomeone ever needssss sssomeone to talk to, 420-666-6969 c(;"

Sai YouLackDick commented "I'm sorry, I accidently read your name as Orochimicheal Jackson. An honest mistake."

Sasuke Uchiha updated a status "What the fuck if up with all these punks and stealing my style?"

Sai YouLackDick commented "I didn't know fag was a style."

Gaara Sabaku commented "Can't steal what you never had."

Yondaime Kazekage commented "Play nice, Gaara."

Gaara Sabaku commented "I'm sorry, does isolating me from the rest of your children and essentially ruining my childhood play any part of berating me to 'play nice'?"

Yondaime Kazekage commented "I did it for the lulz."

Gaara Sabaku commented "Oh I see, just like I might kill you right now. Just for shits n gigglez pops."

Saori Kuriname commented "haha woooaaaaah, dady ishues much?"

Gaara Sabaku commented "I murdered your father just yesterday."

Deidara IsNotAGirl uploaded a picture. "haha havin a BLAST wit deez boms"

Sai YouLackDick commented "A better caption might've been: It's Britney bitch."

Ino babyqirll' Yamanaka updated a status. "N E kutee' boizsz # t22 hit^^ t2daii? x/3"

Gaara Sabaku commented "420-666-6969"

Sakura Haruno uploaded a picture. "Selfie Sunday :)"

Gaara Sabaku commented. "I stand corrected; Sakura, it is your disgusting face that surpasses Nagato's filth. You keep that in mind next time you decide to upload another horrid selfie."

* * *

**well, this had been a riot guys, but i think im unofficially done with updating this garbage.**

**unofficial caz im fickle as fuk and u don knoe mi. idk i **_might_** update..but very very veyr vyervevey unlikely**

**not that it hasnt been fun, its been a blast and im so so glad so many of you people enjoy it. even while i hated it, im happy i could make some recognized authors laugh, like whaaat? TRIGGA STOP. **

**i just wanna end it because all these fics ive written this year are so bad and i just want to end them all and try again. every time i start a new story im like yeaaaah ahaha this ones gonna be the shit and then it ends up being shit because i never take care of it. **

**hm well, due to popular demand it seems sai and gaara are the moneymakers of the lot and so i thought id end on a horribly shitty excuse for an epilogue. to satiate yalls needs c;**

**this was meant to be something to make fun of my grade, literally mocking them. fgjgkdksk i wrote the second chapter first, i remember uploading it a week before school started and then it was removed because im stupid and so i changed it a bit and now look what ive done. ive tried to incorporate their personalities into their typing quirks and i ended up having to dumb a lot of people down... bluuuuuuh im so bored, summer is horrible, i want to go back to school.**

** you can kinda tell where i started fucking the fic up, i guess i felt under pressure to be funny and it just wasnt funny, and i hated myself for updating shit that no one laughs at. seriously would anybody laugh if it werent for all the swears? because with out profanity..i really have nothing to write about. and thats so fucking sad.**

**and come on if anyone thinks pein doesnt have every inch of his cock pierced youre outta your mind**

**THANK YOU AGAIN SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING AND ALL THE FEEDBACK EACH AND EVERY PIECE OF IT ALSO THE LURKERSSSSSSSS U MUH BESTIESSSSS ;) I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE WONDERFUL SUMMERS AND SWEET DREAMS BECAUSE ITS LATE BUT I CANT SLEEP**

**so sorry and thank you c:**


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